My Story:
“Why would ANYBODY want to give up McDonald’s
and Pizza Hut?”
Only one reason: EMES ("Truth")

I.  Born in 1958 into a Roman Catholic family (“My SHEKERED Past”)[1]
II.  Attended Catholic School[2] through the sixth grade
                a) Always was kneeling the longest of my classmates (before service prayers)
                b) I had a strong desire to be a priest; I could say the entire Mass in Latin from memory
                c) One thing that I was taught in religion class was that the “official position” of the Catholic
                Church (since the Second Vatican Council that met in the early Sixties) was that “good people of all  
                faiths would get into heaven.  This made sense to me, and would shape my attitudes toward
                peoples of other approaches to God in the future. 
III.  My father died when I was ten; my mother remarried a short time later, and things didn’t go well
                a) If my father had lived, I probably would have gone to Notre Dame, and who knows what
                would have happened after that! (Because of the strong “faith” of my father, it is most likely that I
                would have been forever lost in the doctrines and traditions of Roman Catholicism!)
IV.  I finish my education in public schools, attending CCD[3] (Catholic Childhood Development) classes
V.   In high school I was involved in sports: I played basketball against Magic Johnson
VI.  During my teen years my mother tried to get me into reading something besides short stories; we settled
       upon science fiction. (The significance of this decision will be apparent shortly.)
VII.  During my late teens and into my early twenties I began looking into the religion I had been raised To
        believe.  I discovered some things that caused me concern:
                a) The New Testament teaches that one had to believe in Jesus or “fry for all eternity in hell”.
                    --a direct “scriptural” contradiction to what I was taught in Catholic school!!!
                b) The New Testament teaches that God “predestined” some to believe in Jesus, and thus go to
                 heaven; and, conversely, those He didn’t “predestine” were “destined” to fry in hell.
                    --as Christianity has the doctrine of “the fall of mankind” (the mistake of Adam) and once we fell,
                    we could no longer get back up without Jesus' help.
                c) The New Testament teaches that God actually blinded the Jews so that it was impossible for the
                vast majority of Jews to have accepted the Messianic claims of The Nazarene.
                   --How to explain to the polytheistic, rock worshipping heathen who so quickly accepted Christianity
                   that the Jews, the very people who had known about the Messiah for 1350 years, rejected Jesus….
VIII.  These discoveries, coupled with my enjoyment of science fiction & the claims of science fiction and
Darwinism that the entire universe is one grand coincidence, left me troubled and confused. (But, when one thinks
about it, science does make more sense than Christianity!  Science tells us HOW God “did it”; Torah explain
WHY God “did it”!)
IX.  Then I read a book that left me all but convinced that there was no God.  The book, “Pagan Christs” written
by a man name Robertson, and published in the late 1800s, depicted the pagan world out of which Christianity
was born.  Robertson described a world of “virgin births” and “dying and resurrecting gods” which left me with
the conclusion that there was nothing sacred about Christianity, and that I believed in something akin to paganism.
(I remember an analogy I came up with to defend the agnostic/atheistic vision of the universe: “God, creating the universe
as huge as it is, all for the purpose of creating the planet earth as a home for mankind, is a bit like Leonardo Da Vince
painting the Mona Lisa on the head of a pin and displaying it on the Goodyear blimp[4].  This argument is akin to the
“If you put enough monkeys and enough typewriters into a large enough room. One of them will type out the works of
Shakespeare” argument.)
X.  Even though I had all but dismissed the idea of “God”, I still found myself “church hunting”.  I attended both
Catholic and Protestant churches, trying to come to terms with what I knew about Christianity and a feeling in my gut that
if there were no “God” that life had no meaning. (I wanted there to be meaning to life, it’s just that Christianity's “meaning”
left me feeling empty.)
 

***************************

XI.  I worked as a restaurant manager for about ten years.  It was during this time, while working at a family restaurant in East Lansing, Michigan, that I decided to go back to college and make something more of my life.  I had two loves: novels and movies.  I wanted to do something that I loved to do, rather than merely having a career that paid the bills.  I could be either Stephen King or Steven Speilberg.  I  decided it would be nice to be Stephen King and write novels for a living.
XII.  I immersed myself in learning how to write novels.  I assembled a library of “how to write” books.  I took every writing class that Michigan State had to offer.  After a year of “researching” how-to-write-a-novel, I began work on my first novel, a love story, that really was a horrible effort.
XIII.  After two more failed attempts at writing novels, I came upon an idea for a spy novel.  I needed a setting, and decided upon the Arab/Israeli Conflict.
        a) I read about twenty books on the “subject” and thought I knew it all, but after talking with a guy at work who knew a little bit about the Middle East, I realized I knew next to nothing. (Deir Yassin; Sabra and Shatillah; etc.)
        b) I set a goal for myself: I wanted to write a book that would not only “fool” Americans, but a book that would be acceptable to both Israelis and Palestinians.
XIV.  I called the University of Minnesota and asked to speak to a professor knowledgeable on the Middle East.  I was put in touch with a visiting Israeli professor.  She was a secular Jew with left-wing political leanings, but she introduced me to a student who was both a religious Jew, and a hawk when it came to the isssue of “Land for Peace”. (“Ken.”  “No, it’s John.”  “Ken.”  “No, It’s John.”)
XV.  I began to amasss a library of books relating to Israelis and Palestinians. (I read some 400 books on the subject! “Boy, that Rabbi Kitzur!!!”)  I studied both Judaism and Islam – not trying to find God, but rather with the intention of creating characters by which I could tell the story of the Arab/Israeli problem.  I met a Conservative rabbi and asked him to explain just exactly a Torah was, or a Midrash, or a Talmud.  He told me about a Hebrew/English Talmud published by Soncino Press. (“Find a library that has a set, and see for yourself what the Talmud’s all about.” = the worst advisse any Rabbi could EVER give!!!)  It was through contacting Soncino Press that I met a man named Nachum and his wife Rachel.  (“The Chumatz Story”)

##.  I began to admire Jewish scholarship; I saw positive things in Islam (it’s NOT all “strap dynamite on yourself and blow up an Egged Bus”!); but I was still “programmed” by my Christian upbringing – and this still left me uncertain about the existence of God!

##.  I was reading through the Soncino translation of the Middrash Rabbah (in the midst of studying Jewish and Islamic sacred texts) when I came to a conclusion: YES, You (God) exist!!! – BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT? (I was talking to the ceiling in my office)

##.  During preparations for a reserch trip to Israel, I came in contact with a Christian who had done a lot of chronological/astronomical research into the truth of Tanakh and the N.T.  He came to my house and showed me his research.  I started to get excited about Christianity.

##.  I read a NRSV Bible cover to cover in 13 days; during this quick read through, I was reminded of all the stories I had been taught while going to Catholic school.  My excitement about Christianity grew further (but I still had those same old problems to chew over!!!)

##.  I traveled to Israel to do research.  I saw many of the “holy sites”(The Arab tour-guide who pointed out all of the Christian Holy sites….) including the “mighty Jordan River”.  I’m reminded of a story I heard on a Rabbi Berel Wein tape (the Jordan/Christian pilgrims/little bottles of river water/the Arab upstream relieving himself.)

##.  My first Pesach in Jerusalem. (After interviewing a Palestinian leader, I was “intereviewed” by a Palestinian youth, then I was put in a “taxi” going to Ein Geddi “street” v. Ein Geddi near the Dead Sea!!!)

##.  Aftewr two weeks of research, I was at Ben Gurion airport, and purchased a copy of the Jerusalem Post to read on the trip back to the United States.  Inside the newspaper I saw an add for a tape set: “A Rabbi’s Response to Christian Missionaries”.  What I knew at that point about the Jewish position on Jeses was from a book called “Jewish ####” by A Joseph Telushkin.  In three paragraphs Telushkin told me that Jesus wasn’t the Messiah as he had failed to fulfill the Messianic prophecies of the Jewish scriptures.  A nine tape set promised to give me a bit more of an in-depth explanation!

##.  At work one night, I had a “break-through”: IF one is to believe in Christian theology, one must believe that God gave Israel 613 Commandments, and then, 1350 years later, changed His mind, lowered His standards, etc.  GOD DOESN’T LOWER HIS STANDARDS! (Christian response: “The Torah is a mirror to show us hoe filthy we are; yadda, yadda, yadda….”) (Christianity: An Outcome Based Religion – how many times does Torah say that it’s FOREVER!!!???) (I was still operating under the Christian doctrine that one must keep Torah perfectly, without ever sinning, in order to avoid the fires of hell.)

##. This conclusion left me totally free of all that I had been brought up to believe; I was a true agnostic – albeit for only a week or two.  But, once Christianity goes, so does Islam, Mormonism, The Witnesses, etc.

##.  I now had two choices:
        a) Deism = a “creator” with no relationship to “his” creation
        b) Judaism = a Creator with a personal relationship with His creation (= God really did speak to Klal Yisroel at Mt. Sinai!!!)

##.  I sent away for the counter-missionary tape set (Boy was I correct in dismissing Yoshkianity!!!)

##. I was told about a group of Bnai Noach down in Tennessee.  I contacted them and purchased a tape by a Rabbi Israel Chait.  The tape included a Southern Baptist minister’s reaction to the Bnai Noach movement, and Rabbi Chait’s response.  I listened to the tape about ten times, then called Rabbi Chait to tell him how impressed I was with his assessment of Christianity (It was then that I learned that a large  number of the 613 had to do with the animal sacrificial system, thus IF Torah was to be kept PERFECTLY, why did God put a means to atone for sin into place?)

##.  I remembered something my friend Nachum told me: something about coded messages in the Torah. (The Aish HaTorah Discovery Program)  I called Nachum and asked for more information.  After contacting Aish HaTorah, and reading the articles they sent, I came to the conclusion that Torah-based Judaism deserved a closer look!  I also learned about the Discover Seminars and the tape library that Aish HaTorah offered.

##.  I attended an Aish HaTorah Seminar and had my “socks knocked off”

##.  I bought some tapes; one set in particular: “Evidence of God’s Existence” by Rabbi Noach Weinberg was about all it took to get me headed toward conversion. (Yes, in reality I had two choices – the seven laws or the six hundred and thirteen….  Seven didn’t phase me, but six hundred and thirteen – that’s a challenge!)

##. During a trip to New York, I spent a day at Rabbi Chait’s yeshiva; it was there that I first put on tefillin.  It was a Monday, and the Torah was read at Shacharis.  I was not too familiar with the ebb and flow of the prayer service at that time.  I remember being asked: “Ben….?”  If I had been with it I would have responded “Noach”, but instead one of the other guys who knew I wasn’t Jewish informed the gabbi of this fact (It tuned out that the gabbi had included me in the count of the minyan, and we had just ten….).

##.  We took classes with Rabbi Hertzog

##.  When Rabbi Hertzog said we were ready for the mikvah, we were still living fifteen miles from the eruv – we knew that while conceptually we could be Jewish in Eagan, practically we needed to be living within walking distance of the Shul.

##.  We were introduced to Rabbi Shimon and Hadassah Perez, and through the Perezes we met Rabbi Moshe Tuvi Lieff.  We began going to Bais Yisroel functions.

##. After moving into the eruv, and becoming acquainted with the community, we approached Rabbi Lieff and asked if he would give his “heksher” to our conversion.  He said yes.  We “hit the mikvah” in August of 1998.

--I have three brothers – two of which are fundamentalists Christians who believe that I am going to fry in hell for all eternity for having rejected Jesus (but since these two are Calvinists, I was predestined to reject Jesus anyway, so what does it matter?)

--My Mom’s remarried, and every once in a while we have a family reunion (The video tapes of of these events sell for $19.95 plus shipping and handling!!!)

--We both had to go through “hell” in order to get Shabbos off from work

My Testimony:
"Why I Reject The New Testament as the Word of God
&
The Notion That Jesus of Nazareth Was the Messiah"

    The three reasons that stick out amongst others are:
1) Christian "exclusivity"; if one fails to have or accept the sacrifice of Jesus, one is lost to the fires of hell for eternity.
2) Predestination as defined in the New Testament; there is no free-will in the biggest decision -- at least from the Christian point-of-view -- a human being has to make in his or her lifetime, namely whether or not to accept Jesus as his or her "Lord and Savior".
3) The reason that the vast majority of Jews rejected the claims of Jesus and his apostle was, according to the New  Testament, because God blinded them to who and what Jesus was
    Then there was a confirming piece of information:
4) Tthe story of Jesus is virtualy no different than the stories of the other "mystery gods" who were worshipped by the pagan world at the time Christianity started.
    But the actual moment that I knew with certainty that the New Testament and Christianity could not possibly be the product of the Jewish Scriptures was: 5)  I realized that God would not expect something out of His Chosen People that they were unable to deliver, and even if they did fail to deliver, He would never "lower His standards".         Then, after further research, I discovered that:
6) Christianity had redefined almost every basic tenant of the Jewish Scriptures
        a) God (one becomes three)
        b) Scripture (Tanakh becomes a never ending stream of "prophecy")
        c) Salvation (God's promise to rescue and protect Israel form her earthly enemies becomes "redemption" from
            the fires of hell)
        d) Messiah (A human descendant of King David becomes "God in the form of a man")
        e) and so on....

  1) Christian "exclusivity" and the downside to either rejecting the Christian offer, or not having heard the message at all (vs. Gentiles as portrayed in Tanakh):

--Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned.

--Romans 10:9 That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.

  2) Predestination as defined in the New Testament and its implications for God and mankind

--Romans 8:29 For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.

--Romans 8:30 Moreover whom he did predestinate, them he also called: and whom he called, them he also justified: and whom he justified, them he also glorified.

--Ephesians 1:5 Having predestinated us unto the adoption of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,

--Ephesians 1:11 In whom also we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will:

--1 Corinthians 12:3 Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of God calleth Jesus accursed: and that no man can say that Jesus is the Lord, but by the Holy Ghost.

--Mark 4:9 And he said unto them, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

--Mark 4:23 If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.

--Mark 7:16 If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.

--Luke 8:8 And other fell on good ground, and sprang up, and bare fruit an hundredfold. And when he had said these things, he cried, He that hath ears to hear, let him hear.

    * * * * * * * * * * * *

re: The Elect -- ONLY the "elect" can believe (according to the New Testament)

--Romans 11:5 Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace.

--Romans 11:7 What then? Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded

--Romans 11:28 As concerning the gospel, they are enemies for your sakes: but as touching the election, they are beloved for the fathers' sakes.

--2 Timothy 2:10 Therefore I endure all things for the elect's sakes, that they may also obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory.

--1 Peter 1:2 Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied.

--1 Peter 2:6 Wherefore also it is contained in the scripture, Behold, I lay in Sion a chief corner stone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded.

  3) That God blinded the Jews to the point that the vast majority of them rejected his "Messiahship"

--Matthew 15:14 Let them alone: they be blind leaders of the blind. And if the blind lead the blind, both shall fall into the ditch.

--Matthew 23:26 Thou blind Pharisee, cleanse first that which is within the cup and platter, that the outside of them may be clean also.

--Luke 6:39 And he spake a parable unto them, Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?

--John 10:21 Others said, These are not the words of him that hath a devil. Can a devil open the eyes of the blind?

--John 12:40 He hath blinded their eyes, and hardened their heart; that they should not see with their eyes, nor understand with their heart, and be converted, and I should heal them.

--Romans 11:7 What then? Israel hath not obtained that which he seeketh for; but the election hath obtained it, and the rest were blinded

--Romans 11:25 For I would not, brethren, that ye should be ignorant of this mystery, lest ye should be wise in your own conceits; that blindness in part is happened to Israel, until the fulness of the Gentiles be come in.

--2 Corinthians 3:14 But their minds were blinded: for until this day remaineth the same vail untaken away in the reading of the old testament; which vail is done away in Christ.

--2 Corinthians 4:4 In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.

--Ephesians 4:18 Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of their heart:

  4) The book "Pagan Christs"

  5) Christianity: An Outcome Based Religion (all of the superiority of Judaism without any of the responsibility)

  Christianity has redefined the terms of Tanakh

a) God

b) scripture

b2) revelation

--Deuteronomy 12:32 What thing soever I command you, observe to do it: thou shalt not add thereto, nor diminish from it. 13:1 If there arise among you a prophet, or a dreamer of dreams, and giveth thee a sign or a wonder, 2 And the sign or the wonder come to pass, whereof he spake unto thee, saying, Let us go after other gods, which thou hast not known, and let us serve them; 3 Thou shalt not hearken unto the words of that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams: for the LORD your God proveth you, to know whether ye love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul. 4 Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him. 5 And that prophet, or that dreamer of dreams, shall be put to death; because he hath spoken to turn you away from the LORD your God, which brought you out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed you out of the house of bondage, to thrust thee out of the way which the LORD thy God commanded thee to walk in. So shalt thou put the evil away from the midst of thee. 6 If thy brother, the son of thy mother, or thy son, or thy daughter, or the wife of thy bosom, or thy friend, which is as thine own soul, entice thee secretly, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which thou hast not known, thou, nor thy fathers;

----Deuteronomy 18:15 The LORD thy God will raise up unto thee a Prophet from the midst of thee, of thy brethren, like unto me; unto him ye shall hearken; 16 According to all that thou desiredst of the LORD thy God in Horeb in the day of the assembly, saying, Let me not hear again the voice of the LORD my God, neither let me see this great fire any more, that I die not. 17 And the LORD said unto me, They have well spoken that which they have spoken. 18 I will raise them up a Prophet from among their brethren, like unto thee, and will put my words in his mouth; and he shall speak unto them all that I shall command him. 19 And it shall come to pass, that whosoever will not hearken unto my words which he shall speak in my name, I will require it of him. 20 But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die. 21 And if thou say in thine heart, How shall we know the word which the LORD hath not spoken? 22 When a prophet speaketh in the name of the LORD, if the thing follow not, nor come to pass, that is the thing which the LORD hath not spoken, but the prophet hath spoken it presumptuously: thou shalt not be afraid of him.

c) messiah

d) salvation

e) blessings/curses (NOT "heaven" & "hell")

  New Testament Anti-Semitism

--Matthew 27:25 Then answered all the people, and said, His blood be on us, and on our children.

--John 8:44 Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.

--1 Thessalonians 2:15 Who both killed the Lord Jesus, and their own prophets, and have persecuted us; and they please not God, and are contrary to all men: